We arrived and started playing.
I had overthought everything before this. Then we started playing games, taking pictures, and being completely normal about none of it.
July 16
I made this because a normal birthday message felt a little too small.
Open it slowlyGangtok
I was so nervous before seeing you. Then I met you and somehow it just felt easy.
I had overthought everything before this. Then we started playing games, taking pictures, and being completely normal about none of it.
At some point we were playing games, drawing on each other, taking way too many pictures, and I had completely stopped checking the time.
By the end, the table was a mess, our arms were covered, you had flowers, and I still wasn't ready for the day to be over.
From far away
I like getting these little pieces of your life. You outside, you doing your own thing, and you being completely unserious.
Calls with you
Food, tiny celebrations, getting ready, random conversations, and sometimes just existing on the same screen.
No context
One more hour
Leaving early was the right thing to do. I know that. I just hated that we lost the chance to meet again. I wanted one more hour with you. Probably more, if I'm being honest.
For you
Happy birthday, Sonam.
I don't really know how to write this without making it sound like a speech, so I'm just going to say it normally.
I was very nervous before meeting you. I had overthought everything. What I would say, whether it would feel awkward, whether the easy conversations on calls would feel the same in person. Then I sat down with you and all of that disappeared. It was just easy.
We ate, played games, drew on each other's arms, clicked way too many pictures, and somehow hours passed without feeling like hours. I still look at those photos and remember the messy table, the paper, the drawings, you with the flowers, and me already not wanting the day to end.
And theennnn, calls with you became part of my normal day. Seeing what you were eating. Watching you get ready. Tiny celebrations through a screen. Random conversations. Sometimes doing absolutely nothing and still not wanting to hang up. Even that ice picture that requires no explanation.
I still think about the second time we were supposed to meet. Leaving early was the right thing to do, and I know that. But I hated that we lost that time. I wanted one more hour with you. Probably more, if I'm being honest.
You are sweet, caring, funny, and also a bully. Somehow all of those things fit together. You make me laugh. You make me feel calm. You make ordinary parts of my day better. I like who I am around you, and I like that talking to you never feels like I have to perform.
I don't know if a birthday website is the normal way to say this. It probably isn't. But I didn't want to hide it behind another joke either.
I love you.
I'm not saying it because I expect anything from you today. I just didn't want to keep it unsaid.
Happy birthday, Sonam. I hope today makes you feel even a little as loved as you make me feel.